Posted by parhad on July 08, 2001 at 16:53:50:
I'm getting a clearer picture of "us" all the time. I can see now why these leaders all howled like stuck pigs at the site (cute) of me. We are a people infinitely concerned over appearances. The appearance that things are as they should be is so gratifying that no one asks how things are really going.
We also dred being "talked about ", so much that we don't bother to think what it means if we are afraid that the stupidest one among us might "say something" about us, so that our own actions are set for us by the worst people among us, those most likely to spread gossip and ask ugly "questions". We are ruled by our most base passions and fears. Naturally we see everyone else through this same mucky filter.
Right now I have to say, sadly, that I seem to be the only one not "afraid" of mixing it up with anyone. As I wrote that sentence I wanted to burst into laughter, and equally shed tears of shame and humiliation when I think of all the courageous acts performed by so many many people...people who have much more to fear than that someone might "say something".
What a contrast they made...the little lady, couragepously out shopping like that in broad daylight, her life put at risk just to get lunch. Next to her, the cowboy with enough firepower to blow away any villian one might find at a supermarket. I'm the little old lady.
The moderators at all the forums I've been on have at one time or another deleted me like mad hens or banned me outright, even applying a password just to keep me out. At the same time they've left their own "brave" replies to posts of mine they've removed...just to prove how chicken shit they really are.
In the dead of night Ghassan sneaks over here to read (we know when and how often). He dares not carry on any dialogue with me. He says it's because of the language but I think everyones sees through that easily enough. Those of you who've had the misfortune of talking with him know how vulgar profanity can be, especially when coupled with a low mind.
Others will not come read for different reasons. I'm thinking now that there really is some form competition among these folks to win some sorry distinction as THE most read forum. I recall some sort of a "vote for me" campaign sometime back, but I thought it was for popularity only. Can people actually be sitting on their brains enough that they will not venture anywhere else for fear that the other guy will get MORE hits...and therefore....and therefore WHAT?? Do me a favor...NEVER "vote" for me...I do NOT want to be popular with anyone.
Just what is the point here anyway? Is our heritage, our status in the world, even as we are decimated by the combined armament of the whole world practically, is all of that JUST an excuse to be "leaders" and have "congresses" and "Conferences"? Is this murderous staus quo supposed to be maintained as a "good thing" because it allows us to discuss "issues" and put out "articles" and have "meetings"?
When I first began working with the Public Defenders in Seattle and met all the social worker types at the Court, I remember being struck by how much each person's identity, their physical well being, their material standing, how much the very clothes on their backs depended on the continued abuse and misery of a bunch of kids unlucky at birth.
The Lawyers, the case workers, the judges, the staff, ALL of them could afford to buy houses, feed families, take vacations and eventually retire on the backs of a bunch of miserable ten and foutteen years olds. It made me wonder how much they could REALLY afford to "solve" any problems in the "system" that defined them and gave them prestige and fed them.
I was a volunteer, working at a gas station by the
I will be more than happy to quit these forums, this internet, the conventions, the art shows, the monuments... ALL of it if I can stop the reasons which make all this work so imperative. I know Narsai would like nothing better either. But I'm not so sure about a Nimrod, or Ghassan, not to mention the out and out crooks like Ramin Odsishoo and Dadeesho, to name a few, a very small few.
When the day comes, and we are recognized publicly, and more people take the courage in hand to express what they also know about our condition today and what needs to be done...where will these leaders of ours hide? How will they dare then to lie or make the outlandish claims they do now, now when they can barely find the courage it takes to live below the floorboards like a passle of cockroaches.
No wonder they're terror stricken and hide from me. No wonder they manufacture excuses...no wonder The Gassman wants us NOT to debate Ross, to accept a worse insult as an "apology". These people have a vested interest in maintaining us in this position...as the church does in teaching us to divide and be made murder victims which they then glorify as "martyrs". Our heritage, as it stands today, is in a FINE position as far as they are concerned. They have tied their identities, their fortunes, to its miserable tail as it gets whipped from pillar to post. They will not change it, they will not risk the "position" they're achieved.
Wilfred, I was greatly disappointed to find you in this same company. I almost wish I hadn't gone that far...almost, but it has to be done. I am really sorry.