Assyrian Women 2 -- This Time It's Personal
Posted by parhad on July 14, 2001 at 11:19:38:
In Reply to: Assyrian Women 2 -- This Time It's Personal posted by Michael on July 14, 2001 at 09:38:27:
: The thing is when I did date an Assyrian woman who had a huge sexual resume, distorted images and flashes of her having sex with her exs popped in my mund all
>>>That's your problem, not hers...whoever she was. What about similar images of you and whatever woman she might meet popping up in HER head?
I thought to myself: "How could I marry this girl who has been with so many guys?" "How can I walk into a room an dNOT be afraid or intimidated that the guys
who are "chcking her out" probably slept with her.
>>>How does she know women she meets aren't checking YOU out? To marry someone because she is "pure" is a poor reason. The older you get the more likely
you and "she" will have had more partners. If you DO find a virgin at 40, you might what to ask "how come"?
>>>I once had a partner who found another fellow "ahem", attractive...it was my own fault as I was hardly around enough and left her "free". She was free alright
and I played the wounded, jealous part...that stabbing sensation and all. What cured me of that completely was when I realized with a shock that she was a sexual
person too, with a full appetite. What "hurt" was thinking she'd been seduced...been fed a pretty line and had tumbled into bed. Hell no...hadn't happened that way at
all...SHE wanted to satisfy her own, independent desire. Realizing that got rid of the stabbing feeling in my gut because how could I argue with the same right I
wanted to be a sexual being? Didn't bother me at all after that. The image of her "wanting to" made her "just like me"...just like anyone who is free to choose...she
wasn't a "vessel" anymore, she couldn't BE unfaithful cause she was doing what all men do...being faithful to ONESELF! It was really none of my business. Now if I
had done right by her, she would never have felt the urge...more than likely. I believe people want committed relationships but don't realize it has to work both ways,
both have to commit.
You know what kind of sickening, horrid feeling that is Fred? I agree with you in all sense that women should do as they please, but why decrease the amount of
SELF-RESPECT within you just to have the temporary pleasure of an orgasm.
>>>I don't think women do that. Men are more likely to go looking for temporary orgasms. A woman's sexuality is a far more complicated thing...that's because
entire systems of philosophy and morals and government have meddled in it. Women who are acused of "sleeping around" and having "loose morals" are being
described by men, men who have their own problems with being "loved exclusively". In fact MOST writings about women were done by men for the last 2000
years. Women COULDN'T write, weren't allowed to. It's a safe bet that when you see "anon" after some piece of writing it was a woman did it. Hell George Sand
had to use a man's name just to get published. Men have had their own distorted and completely self-serving views on women for so long that people reading books
or even just thinking about "women", aren't dealing in the real article at all. It's only recently that women found their own voice.
You probably will conclude that I may need to seek therapy on this...hehehe...if, that is, you respind in a PARHAD-kind-of-way. But Fred, you know me...I'm the
religious type but simulatneously I'm also a Romantic.
>>>I think that's a contradiction in terms. "Wishful" or distorted thinking is not Romanticism. You have a hard time seeing things as they are, that's all...that doesn't
make you a Romantic. A Romantic isn't a dreamy eyed, dribbling fool. A Romantic is not someone caught up in fantasies. What we mean by that term even, isn't
accurate. We think it means moonlit nights, soft music, a wench we're agonzing over...hoping, wishing, walking around in a haze of expectations etc etc. The word
comes from "Romance", which also doesn't mean what you think it does. A Romance was a type of story, usually involving a love interest. We've turned it into
ONLY love, and a sort that is usually fantastic or doomed.
Priesthood, Sainthood...I wish, but the fact of the matter is I can never be either a Priest or a Saint...or an "Angel" or "a role model for young men." But at the same
time Fred, I do care for myself and choose not to sleep with every other woman I date.
>>>>I'm sure they don't expect it either.
If a woman had a pre-marital sexual experience with 1 man in her life, I will accept that
>>>My, you make it sound so romantic!
...but 2...3...4...10...20...I mean come on, we are reachin a level of absurdity.
>>>Just where do you find these lovelies anyway?
The risk of acquiring sexual diseases coupled with the status as the "Community's Whore," why would any woman want to do that?
>>>You know how many more male community "Whores" there are? How come it's okay for a man to behave that way? If a woman acts that way, it's for the same
reason a man does...doesn't know any better.
Men are horny 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year -- that is our nature.
>>>I sculpt sometimes.
We will pull our pants down at the sight of a hole in between 2 thighs -- it is our weakness.
>>>You are one romantic dude.
Women, who as girls supposedly mature faster than young boys, are supposed to have more self-embarrssment, self-respect, and possess religious ethics (you're
probably nodding your head by now) and not follow the daily standards of White trailer trash found in Jerry Springer shows, or wear provactive clothing seen in any
>>>Who says they're supposed to? PEOPLE should have self-respect. You can have that and a whole lot of men and women too. It's all in the doing of it...some
men and women are disgusting with ONE partner. Others are angels and saints having one two or three at the same time. It's another of those "miracles" you like so
much...also tough to explain.
Fred, I'm not looking for a cave woman. I'm not looking for a 1-night stand. I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I'm NOT EVEN looking for a wife. What I am looking
for is a woman I can call my SOULMATE.
>>>When you know who YOU are, you'll know instinctively who is right for you. If you're making mistakes now it could be because you're sending mixed
signals...you may appear to want one thing, when it's another thing entirely you crave. If you develop your own radar and know what's right for you, you'll quickly
"scan" the field and find the same.
To call someone that Fred takes alot of love, trust, and comfort -- the last being what I truly lackedwhen I engaged in a relationship with an Assyrian
: -Michael Isaac
>>>It isn't easy believe me....sometmes it takes practice. I mean everything else does and doctors never seem to get right cause they are always in "practice". What
makes us think that the single most important thing, another being we can be close to in that special way the whole world almost seems to be seeking, can be gotten
right once only, and the first time we try it? Driving a car requires more practice than people allow for that.
>>>What do they teach you in school? Math, English, History etc? Who the hell needs them? They don't even teach you how to balance a checkbook. At the time
in our lives when we're beginning to think about taking the most important step towards the one thing which will make the MOST difference to our lives...they have
us studying Chemistry!!!
>>>And where DO we get our ideas about love, sex, marriage, fidelity and all that?...from Pop Culture of all places. We're thrown out there with little useful
knowledge and a whole lot of bad images...male and female. It's going to take some thrashing around, some trial and error, a whole lot of disappointment too...risk
and all that. But, what else can you do? The woman is as badly served in this as the men are...she is just as much at a loss, if not more so, because to her way of
thinking and the culture's, she has been "liberated".
What that has come to mean is that she is more available for men than she was before, more vulnerable, more likely to be hurt and used because she now thinks this
is what "she wants". It also means that on top of cleaning house she is expected to go to work,,,for less pay, and still come home and cook and clean and be
"available"...because now we all know how sexual she is...right? This is a nightmare, not liberation. Liberation will take more...for BOTH men and women.
>>>ARE you uglier than a mud fence???